Save the universe from woman breastfeeding in public (satire)

                                                                                 

So you can't handle a woman breastfeeding in public?  How dare some woman give their kids milk from the correct species instead of stealing milk from  a baby cow.    You might see a boob...or even a nipple...and then what....your life might never be the same again...no not your life it will change the whole course of the universe!

So here is how to save the universe:  

1. Ask her if she can go hide in a dirty bathroom with baby, so you can eat your melted stolen cow fat breastmilk gross goo in peace.   Seriously, what else are you supposed to eat? As an adult human your choices are so limited!   When she doesn't even answer you go run and hide in the bathroom yourself.   

2. Timidly come back from toilet to find baby still eating, and  then tell her to stick a blanket over her babies head. Find blanket ends up over your head.     

3.  Take blanket of your face and stare her down like a real tough guy/gal.   After all it's hard to eat with a blanket over your face right?   You've been eating for 33 years, you've done your time with a blanket over your head and now it's the  newbies turn.    

4.  When this fails compare your own private part to hers.  When she tells you it would be fine if your private parts were feeding your kid/dog/etc freak out!  How dare she use her breasts for what they were intended for?     

5.  When she doesn't care and no one else does either, cry over your plate of murdered baby animals and stolen breastmilk, like the wuss you are.   Feel proud knowing you've now abused both human and non-human babies and mothers.   You're the man,,woman, or baby (no offense to babies)!