Another large betrayal of trust: The Hungarian Holocuast

 An interesting question was posed on Twitter:

Robert Jordan on Twitter: "A betrayal of trust the size of what is happening with SARSCoV2 - is there any precedent for this? Is there any one issue of this size where the truth was *this bad* and what happened once people figured it out?" / Twitter

Suffice it to say I ended up writing a lot: So much I thought I would just turn it into a blog post!

How the Holocaust unfolded in #Hungary which was quite different than in other European countries. Many Jews died of disease being forced into a very small area of the city and many were shot in the streets.

Keep in mind in Hungary the Holocaust happened later than in other European countries (although there was much leading up to it) and many thought it wouldn't happen even as it happened around them. Reminds me of Australia in some ways.

As a sign in the Hungarian Holocaust museum says those in government who were oppressing Jews in Hungary could have quit (at least at a certain point) and lost nothing more than their jobs. They choose a paycheck over saving lives.

And as far as what happened in regards to the Hungarian Holocaust, the Jews that survived were left impoverished. They had no choice in many cases but to work for the Communists in order to survive-thus the Communist Era and take over was made so much simpler. People will sometimes (wrongly) blame Jews for their role in the Communist Era, but really it all goes back to what the fascists did. And it wasn't just external either. The Arrowhead Cross Party was a homegrown Hungarian Nazi Party.

Many oppressors also basically switched uniforms and joined the Communists. In fact, there literally is (or was) a display of this in the House of Terror in Budapest. Suffice it to say, it didn't go well for the fascist oppressors that refused to become commies.

I also gave two other examples one being the Irish Potato Famine (which was a one and done tweet): A second example would also be the Irish potato famine where the British basically let the Irish starve to death or had to flee. I'd say the majority of Irish people still are upset with the UK over what happened and it is still influencing things today.

If you would like to follow me on Twitter: Rachelle Kaufman Ⓥ (@KaufmanBooks) / Twitter  

I'm also (newly) on the elephant site (Mastodon): Rachelle Kaufman (@RachelleKaufman@todon.eu) - Todon.eu

To read more about the Hungarian Holocaust check out my mini-book: An American Jew in Budapest  (There is also a Budapest Travel Guide and other books).   

101 How not to Write an Inclusive Unmasking Letter

If I am being honest, I still feel very hurt by a letter I got in July from an organization* calling itself inclusive.   The letter was in regards to the removal of the mask mandate.   I have been wanting to post about it.   I think my early posts may not have been constructive.  I had to go through a mourning period for what I lost.  But as I have come to accept my exclusion I wanted to go and try to educate on what not to say to those who are disabled or disadvantaged.   And to put my words on paper helping me further reach acceptance, let go, and start a new chapter without what used to be so important to me.   

The other reason I write this is because I initially felt very alone in my feelings.   But over a period of time, I have come to understand that I am not the only one who feels this way.   This doesn't equal everyone I have talked to had exactly the same reaction, but similar feelings of anger, lack of community and/or lack of caring.    

*I've decided not to list the organizations name.   

Quotes and my responses below:

Quote 1 "as we continue a measured yet deliberate easing of restrictions".  

This isn't a race to remove restrictions.   This was a point where COVID was consistently high and getting higher.   No, we need to look at where COVID is.   

Quote 2 "most notably, over the last several months, we have successfully implemented mask-optional scenarios" (describes various settings).  

Exactly what are you using to measure success.   The most successful period to me was when we were in services masked and then went and everyone ate outdoors.   Brining the food indoors felt like a huge downhill to me limiting who I could socialize with and causing me to have to rush to get food quickly and bring it out before too many people took their masks off.   For others, there may have been other times that felt more successful.   Maybe even prior to all this when everybody was together on zoom or online.   Unless you have actual stats, don't tell me what is and isn't successful.   If you do tell me exactly what was asked, what were the results and how you got the sample.   

Not exactly a quote 3, but list of random reasons including vaccines.  

This really felt like a lot of gaslighting.   And let's be honest the vaccine status wasn't really being checked after awhile anymore.  It is much easier for staff to tell if people are masked, than vaxed.  And my understanding anyways is it isn't hard to get a fake vaccine card, especially when they are being looked at quickly.   

And while I am overall pro-vax, I do know some people who vax isn't good for.  I know two people in real life who got COVID, probably have long COVID and when get vaxed their health declines. I know additional people from the internet like this.    I know two others who have told me they can't be for health reasons without explaining.  In fact, vax is a problem for more people I know than masking.   Of course, those who truly can't mask should not be masked, but my understanding is that this has always been an exception.   And more reason the rest of us should.   

Quote 4 "Honor each other, respect each other, value each other"

I'm going to tell a story of some pictures I saw from this organization here.  I don't have time to go searching for the pictures so I'm doing this mostly from memory.   But these were my impressions:

Indoor picture 1: I think all or mostly white higher paid non-physical labor staff w/very little masking.

Indoor picture 2: All black maintenance staff with all masked (if I remember correctly).   

And I ask this question:  Have you ever thought about how your not masking, might impact the lives of maintenance staff if you gave them a disease that in 1 and 5 cases causes long term problems and disability?      

Quote 5 "For some the loosening of restrictions has felt fast and frightening".   

This is not about us being fearful.   Some of us have very real world problems that we have every right to be afraid of.   It doesn't even have to always be that we have some dangerous medical condition either.   Some of us if we lose our ability to work due to long covid may fall from middle class into poverty.  Others may have to turn over children to an abusive ex-spouse if they became disabled.   Or both.   Telling us this is all about our fear just stinks of privilege.  

Quote 6 "For others continued restrictions of any kind have felt burdensome" (Keeping in mind at this point this organization had already moved to serving food indoors unmasked).   

There are already no restrictions on gathering for food indoors and all that is being asked is that in non-food events people wear a mask*.   The same organization asks men to wear yamakas in places.   Not to mention shirts and shoes.   What is this great burden?   

*This would of course exclude those with disabilities that preclude them from wearing a mask or who are too young to wear a mask.   Which is a whole other reason the rest of us should be.   

Quote 7 in bold "It is of the utmost importance we fully respect and honor each others's personal practices" 

So, you are now not only telling me I have to take this additional risk, which might have been workable with some boundaries, you are basically telling me I can't set any boundaries either. Because if I set boundaries to keep myself and family safe it might offend someone. 

Also, when people were complaining about wearing masks, they were never told they needed to be respectful.   This is simply a way of pushing the agenda of those who don't want to mask and demanding silence from those impacted.   

 And this is the point when I am gone.   

Quote 8 continued "As we enter this new chapter".  

I can't enter this chapter with you.   It isn't safe for me and my family.   This is the end of my book.   

Quote 9 "This is a fundamental aspect of our community's core values"

Exactly, what are the values you speak of?   Keep your mouth shut?   You do you and don't worry about others?   

Quote 10 "For the more vulnerable members of our community we very, very, very much see you". 

 If you see me act like it.   Because I have to tell you right now, I feel pretty invisible (and gaslighted).  And to be honest half a year later, it feels like only a handful of people still remember I exist.   

Quote 11 (continued from quote 10-it's a lot to unpack) "and recognize the natural fears and concerns"

Please, just stop with calling people who are disabled and disadvantaged fearful.   Honestly, this is just makes us feel like you have a complete lack of empathy for us.  

Quote 12 "For anyone who would like to identify their own personal strategy...reach out to us"

Those of us who can't risk COVID, especially repeat COVID are exhausted.   Stop placing the burden on us.   And I'm sorry my experience is that as I'm not a big donor, I'm generally not listened to anyways.   My ideas go straight into the garbage can.  

Quote 13 "We are here to help you"  

Mabye with listening and advice (often unsolicited).  But when it comes to real life needs no one is going to be there for me*.  I was in the hospital for days and not one person in this so-called community could be bothered to do so much as bring me a cell phone charger, give me a ride home or even visit me**.   How much faith do you think I have that anyone will help me if I get permanent damage from long COVID from a maskless person?   

*Unless it is a member who is trying to hook-up or get into a relationship with you (including one w/a girlfriend).  Then you may get some physical help.   

**And the craziest part of all this is that someone actually sort of made it sound like they were going to be helpful, only in the end for them to do nothing helpful and for me to drag myself down the day I got out of the hospital so they could pick-up boxes for a move.   

Quote 14 "We need you".   

If you can't even put a mask on to keep me safe, then sorry you really don't need me.   You really don't care about me, you care about numbers and a few people more important than me who I suspect want this.   Those are the people you need.  I'm disposable.   

Quote 15 "We are committed to you and your journey"

I feel like two things are true about this one: One this just isn't true.  

And two: If you truly knew where my journey has taken me, you probably wouldn't be.  Because at this point it has pretty much taken me away from my birth religion, other than culturally and a belief in God.   But I've come to dislike organized religion.   And I've come to find more meaning in Eastern (Asian) religions.   And if I'm being honest as you can probably tell from the above, I'm pretty spiritually lost right now.   

Quote 16 "Thank you for walking with us every step of the way"

No, just like you claim it is your choice to mask or not, it is also my choice to walk away.   

Quote 17 "We look forward to seeing you at services soon".  

How presumptive.  The reality is there are many of us you will likely never see again, especially in person (other than a VERY small number of people who have reached out to hang out outdoors, only one of which has actually happened).   

Really all that needed to be said was we are removing the mask mandate. No explanations.  No gaslighting.   It would have saved so many people, so much emotional pain.     It was hard enough that it happened, why make our exclusion so much worse?   

  Rachelle Kaufman is the author of a number of books including An American Jew in Budapest (written prior to COVID).  Rachelle is trying to get COVID under control, so she can get back to all the causes she used to fight for that didn't impact her life quite as much.   For more info on her books please visit Amazon.com: Rachelle Kaufman: Books, Biography, Blog, Audiobooks, Kindle

Is Missing Middle Housing in Arlington really bad?

Recently, an account called Arlington Transparency tweeted a memo about the problems with missing middle housing.   Below I will dispute why I disagree with their analysis.     

Zero Affordable Unit: Average 3 bedroom 1.27 million:

There is a lot I could say about this and a lot that is really better covered in the other "stats".   However, one thing I will start by saying is people often use the term housing for "families".  But the reality is that Arlington really has more appeal and is better set up for singles and those without families. And it isn't because of the lack of larger units either.   I could go into more details but this could be a whole other post.     And I say this as someone who tried to raise a family there and left.    

Not Diverse:

Arlington already is not diverse.   Guess what?   The building I lived in, in Arlington was probably at least over 95 percent white and Asian.   Actually, the 95 percent is probably a low estimate and goes higher when you factor in owners.      

The whole time I owned a unit there the board was 100 percent white and Asian.   When I left it was completely white.    Making housing more affordable by increasing supply would probably change this.  But let's be honest: NIMBY's have no desire to change this-they at most want lip service to diversity-and certainly not in their neighborhood.   

Excludes all but the wealthiest few:

Okay this one I can't even make sense of.  If it only included the wealthiest few the plan would be to build giant mansions on giant plots of land.   That isn't really either plan, but sounds closer to the NIMBY protect our single family houses plan.    

2/3rds of redeveloped complexes 6 to 8 Unit Complexes:

So what?   Not much more to say.   

89 percent of the unites studio-2 bedrooms:

Almost all the talk is about families, but the reality is most people spend the majority of their lives without children.   Some never have children.   If you have two kids 3 years apart say at age 33, then you have from 21-33 childless and then from 54 to the rest of your life childless.   Thus, there are a lot of people who can live comfortably in a studio to 2 bedroom-both singles and couples.   Also, Arlington tends to have offering that are heavy on that people without kids side.   Thus this housing is more useful to those who fit the Arlington demographic.   And people with kids do live in two and even one bedroom units.   

A second point is that smaller units allow more people to be housed densely.   That means less people who have to drive in-either because they are living further away or living with parents.    

-9 percent loss of "needed" 3 bedroom units:

But are they really needed?   I lived in Ballston for a bit where few children lived even in the houses or apartments that had 3 bedrooms.   Also, if there was a need for 3 bedroom units that was higher than the need for smaller units, wouldn't the builders, built these instead.   

$151,000 minimum income for cheapest 2 bedroom units:

Firstly, if supply is higher than prices generally follow.   Even if it goes up because Arlington is popular it will make nearby counties more affordable.    

But there is a much larger point.   Income is really only one factor and one way people buy properties.   There are many ways people come across money for properties-gifts from family, money from less expensive previous properties, divorce settlements, inheritance, lawsuits, intense savings on a somewhat lesser income, going in with others and really the list goes on and on.   

And the reality is that I already know so many people who have already been pushed out of Arlington because we haven't been building enough housing to keep prices affordable.   

Slashes new "tree" canopy 49 percent:

While it may decrease trees in Arlington, not building up with definitely cost the earth a lot more trees-particularly in places like the exurbs where those who can't afford anywhere else are being pushed out to.  Better to destroy less trees overall.    And the trees in untouched areas generally have more animals living in them, than in the city.   

However, my experience is that many of the areas Arlington is building up on have few trees anyway.   For example, the heavily contested church property in Ballston near the metro has set empty for years plus parking near it and only a few trees.    

5x more cars:

According to the studies I have read density reduces pollution and cars, so I'm not finding this likely.   See Boston University Study cited in this article:How much does density really cut down on driving? | Grist.  Being able to live closer to where they work due to increased supply would likely decrease the number of car trips into Arlington.   And there are many other reasons why more supply drives down the number of cars.   

The one part that I do find problematic is that to the best of my knowledge Arlington still as minimum parking requirements which is a huge mistake.   

There is one other part that states-2413 days to create plan and 29 days to comment.  I don't know about this, but I probably won't debate this one as I don't feel like the Arlington county board or other government is particularly citizen focused or truly wants to hear from people in the county.   

About the author: Rachelle Kaufman is a YIMBY and former resident of Arlington.  She is also a mother, gardener, and author of a number of books.   For more info on her books please visit Amazon.com: Rachelle Kaufman: Books, Biography, Blog, Audiobooks, Kindle