The city to city train
United States: Pray that someone will help you get the stroller and everything else you need up the difficult steps. Think about not taking the stroller next time and then realize you don't want your child to run onto the tracks. Get on the train and pray that the air conditioning/heating isn't broken. Try to confine a small child to the seat, as they try to escape. Try to keep them entertained with what you have on your back. Hope that no one gets too annoyed by the crying from screaming child who wants to run around, although at this point you really don't even care if they are annoyed.
Norway: Board in a special car designed for families and have attendant help you with the stroller. Take your child to the playroom where they can run around, watch tv and drop books in a hole in a desk. Enjoy happy screams, that no one there is offended by because it is the kids car.
The Subway
United States: In DC pray the elevator works...but mostly pray that you don't get to your destination to find the only elevator is broken and the only options are a giant multi-story escalator or heading back home. In New York abandon any hope of their even being an elevator and plan on taking advantage of the swing gates while first scanning at a gate you can't even go through if you have anything bigger than an umbrella stroller because the wider gates require you to have a handicap card. Both: Pray they don't close the doors on your stroller.
Norway: Take it as a given that elevators actually work.
The Tram
United States: Would be easier to complain about the tram if more of them existed. After all why would you put a platform in the street when you could overpay some contractor to build a gigantic structure around every train stop (maybe if your you might even get a kickback from said contractor!).
Norway: Get on the tram with child in stroller...and ride.
The Bus
United States: Struggle to hold onto toddler while struggling to fold stroller-if you are lucky someone helps. If you don't fold stroller be prepared for bus driver to waste 10 minutes arguing with you about how you can't get on the bus instead of stopping bus and helping which would take about 2 minutes (yes I actually saw this happen on wmata and it really was 10 minutes). Have someone on the bus comment on how car seats should be required for bus, while they sit in the seat you desperately need to be able to hold onto your stroller and toddler. Ask them exactly how you are supposed to carry a folded stroller and a 25 pound toddler in a car seat at the same time and what you do if no seats are available? Even if this is possible wonder how this would work for a parent with two small kids? Repeat drill when getting off bus. But wait actually this is only a visualization of how this would work/what you have seen happen to other people because this whole process is so complex you pretty much can't fathom riding the bus by yourself with a toddler, requiring your spouse to waste sick leave so they can stay home while you go to a doctors appointment and only venturing out with toddler to what is walkable to you or near a subway station (apology for the terrible run-on sentence).
Norway: Push your stroller with toddler in it onto the bus....the end.
The Walk Down Mainstreet
United States: Dodge jaydrivers in their oversized vanity SUVs, knowing full well the police will never do anything about these selfish idiots who care more about vanity than other peoples lives.
Norway: Enjoy a mostly car free mainstreet, where you don't have to worry about turning vehicles for the most part. Realize that even the few crossings don't have many cars because Oslo smartly removed parking.
No comments:
Post a Comment